The Curt Jester really cracks me up:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us against Denial of Service attacks. Be our protection against the bots and packets of black hats. May thy firewall rebuke them, we humbly pray; and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Hosting Provider- by the Divine Power of God - cast into digital hell, distributed attacks and all buffer overflows, whose packets roam throughout the network seeking the downing of sites.