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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Hate Really Can Turn In On Itself

An odd insight tonight watching a cop show. Murderer kills daughter's lover to prevent offspring that would likely share a genetic trait that all three had: dwarfism. Strange self-hate. Could this give some insight as to why people today can be so callous about contraception and abortion?

Why do people contracept or choose abortion? The issues are obviously complex and can't be oversimplified, but in many cases, there is a sense that eschewing either one is perceived to bring about something unthinkable, perhaps even abhorrent. I don't believe they feel that way about the baby itself, but they certainly might about the situation of having a baby.

Now what would make a person feel that way about such a situation? I have three children of my own, and I know it can often be stressful, but not most of the time. Sometimes it seems to be so more than half the time, sometimes it doesn't. I also grew up with four siblings, and my memory is even better: mostly great, sometimes not so great.

Maybe the key to understanding the decision to contracept or abort is by understanding two things: one's perspective of being a child in a family and one's perception of the parent's perspective when one was still a child. With the former, one might excessively worry that the unborn child might grow up in a miserable environment. With the latter, one might excessively worry that having a child would be a miserable predicament. I must see to it that my children enjoy their childhood, too, so that they will find childhood as something to be cherished and enjoyed, not something to be miserable about. I can also see how important it is that my children will have a balanced view of my parenthood. They should see (and hear) from my perspective that it can be stressful but that it is just as satisfying and joyful.

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