Men Alive

is an awesome movement in the Church today. I completed the Men Alive weekend at our parish this weekend and it has awakened, emboldened, enlightened, humbled, encouraged and revived me -- before it is too late! Praise God! One of the things I discovered was that God has been trying to tell me something for such a long time now. In fits and starts, I have been leaving the plow, neglecting and taking it all for granted. Today's first reading is so encouraging (emphasis mine):

Wisdom is bright, and does not grow dim. By those who love her she is readily seen, and found by those who look for her. Quick to anticipate those who desire her, she makes herself known to them. Watch for her early and you will have no trouble; you will find her sitting at your gates. Even to think about her is understanding fully grown; be on the alert for her and anxiety will quickly leave you. She herself walks about looking for those who are worthy of her and graciously shows herself to them as they go, in every thought of theirs coming to meet them.

One of my problems is anxiety, and this leads to all sorts of sin on my part, and all sorts of perversions of what should be fruits of the Holy Spirit, e.g., impatience, lack of temperance, sarcasm, etc. The simple answer, I think, is something like this retreat, and the follow-up that I resolved to maintain hence: I need the wisdom of God. I need Christ, like a dry, weary land that is without water. Otherwise, all I have are fits and starts, sputtering to life and trailing off in smoke and a bang. And the great news is that Christ is not in hiding, not hard to get. I just have to be sensible enough, give myself over to prayer consistently, seeking him, and he will be ever willing to meet me and fill me.