It has been a very interesting week. I am very much out of sorts and awaiting surgery next week. Nothing life threatening, but quite debilitating. I've taken the opportunity to take stock of how I got here and, as it often happens, have had to reassess choices I've been making. Mea culpa! To neglect one's own health, through lack of sleep in my case, is never a light choice. God is not a genie in a bottle who will grant us healing just because we ask (and how I have asked!). His answers have been much better. It's exactly how my doctor of years ago warned me about my condition. An easy surgery can solve the situation, but that's exactly where I will wind up again if I don't change my lifestyle, e.g., lack of sleep, insufficient water and fiber in my diet. Had God granted me this pass, I would not have been so convinced as I am now that a real change is necessary. God help me, love of comfort still rails against it. But I have removed the online game installation on my computer, which has been the foremost reason for my late hours, resulting in 6 hours of sleep each night, for the last 2 years.
My Evangelical friend cautions me not to think that God is causing this pain. My response is that my own actions have caused this latest setback, but God certainly can use this opportunity to get some sense into me. Praise be to God!
I've also come to realize that not one faculty of my body, not the least, can be neglected. To be a member of a body is not simply to be one of many, but to be part of all. No more than I can ignore the pain and bleeding in this least of my members. Pardon the graphic nature of that last, but it brings to mind the context of my blog: the one body of Christ, with a multitude of members, not all of whom believe, nor understand, what Christ meant about being one. If a Catholic is not anguished by the persecution of Evangelicals in China, or if a Protestant is not anguished by the lot of Catholics in Lebanon, then something is terribly amiss.
I've also used this opportunity to shore up my prayer life, going back to the Liturgy of the Hours, the rosary, and some good spiritual reading. Currently enjoying "Surprised by Joy" by C. S. Lewis. He is a marvel to read! I had forgotten how much I loved true literature, with words that sing and thoughts that provoked deeper reflection.
Lastly, should anyone come by to read this, please spare me your prayers. Intercede for me, that I may receive greater strength and fortitude by the passion of Christ. And spare a prayer, too, for children of my cousin, who were both stricken with Dengue Fever back home. They are recovering, I hear, and we can all pray that all goes well. Finally, please spare a thought for Lebanon and Israel, that Lebanon may finally have peace, which, in my opinion, requires an inner strength that leaves no room for foreign powers to hold sway inside their own country.