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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

At times of uncertainty

.. one is left wondering about tomorrow, and that is perfectly understandable. One is likely wondering about yesterday as well, at the route that led to this predicament. One might then start making plans -- a reasonable course of action. What one cannot do is to be cynical, which makes one irrational. There is tendency to withdraw, to recoil after a major setback, and that is only to be expected except in the most mature of people. But to be cynical goes too far, defending one's pride by deciding that what is still there no longer exists. Doing so reduces the sting and the humiliation, but it also reduces visibility.

In today's reading, Zechariah gets in trouble for being rather cynical. He probably didn't think he was being cynical, but his response to the angel's message about his wife's miraculous pregnancy was 'How can I be sure of this?' It's like asking for a guarantee, a written document perhaps. But cynicism is poison to faith, I guess. Upright as he was, his faith had taken a beating over the years, perhaps. His wife, Elizabeth, fares better. In reaction to her definite pregnancy in spite of her advanced years and barren state, she keeps to herself and comes to the faithful conclusion that this was a miracle from God. She had faith and optimism enough to make such an open conclusion.

Yesterday I found myself in what should not have been an unexpected predicament. Plan A to move to a more stable employment did not work out. I thought my prospects were reasonably good, but I was wrong. Plan B for another stable employment was also taken off the table. Plan C to retain my current unstable employment was compromised: an extra job on top of my primary one is no longer available. It's a financial setback, which is significant in this family of six.

Yesterday I was withdrawn. I recoiled in mild horror. But I refuse to be cynical. I have a year's employment ahead -- in theory (it may yet be taken away in six months, I think). But even six months is a considerable amount of time. I need to move on and plan ahead. Too much is at stake. Were I to be cynical, I might turn a blind eye to opportunities that exist. It is at this point that I cannot afford an impaired vision. Time to make plans and to keep my eyes open. It's time to show that I meant it when I last prayed "Thy will be done" concerning my employment situation.

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