Losing oneself

The thing about knowing Jesus is that, apparently, when you think you know him, it turns out that you don't. Here I thought I knew what the plain scripture says about having to lose one's life for him and the gospel, then it turns out he means more. Much more. It isn't about dying for him, but for most of us, it is rather by living for him. It isn't necessarily about giving up your life in death, but in dying to yourself by turning you life over to him. In my case, by giving it over to my wife and my kids. I am terrified!